Unity in Brokeness

How can one person feel so unloved?
How can one person feel so alone?
How can one person cry so many tears?
How can one person suffer so much pain ?
The truth is ONE person can't...
because so many others feel the exact same way..

We are not alone

Someone once told me, that we were all damaged goods. And I've come to realize how true that statement is. We've all been hurt, broken. But I guess that's what makes us all alike somehow

"I long to see you so that I may impart to you some spiritual gift to make you strong-- that is, that you an I may be mutually encouraged by each other's faith."

Romans 1:11-12

There is so much in life we go through, but we are never truly alone.

God places certain people in our lives to help us through & encourage us in our walk with Christ, and we should do the same to support our fellow brothers & sisters:) We are one body of Christ, and I can not thank God enough for those He has placed in my life<3

facade

Today I realized that it doesn't matter how you are with others, how you act around friends and family, the way you portray yourself in public, that defines who you really are. It all boils down to simply the thoughts you have within you, what you think about before falling asleep, who you are when nobody is around- when there is no one there to impress, no one there to make you laugh, to distract you from your true inner being. I realize that half of the time we all put up a facade. With others it seems like nothing is wrong, but when the day comes to a close the pain and these thoughts are still there to haunt us. Barely do we let people in, to see our innermost thoughts, our scars- because it's scary to feel vulnerable. It's easier to be happy-go-lucky, or atleast pretend to be. But to be honest, it's so tiring. I can't remember the last time I had an honest conversation. I want to truly be able to know someone and be able to get past the surface act. What I really hope for is that one day we'll be brave enough to talk to eachother about these scary, intimate things, because how are we suppose to help and support each other if we haven't got the slightest clue what the other is going through? I want to stop being ingorant myself, its a falsified bliss. I want to be someone who truly cares for others and what they are going through. I want that kind of heart. It pains me to see everyone at church just having a ball, too distracted, too busy, too afraid to reach out to those who are obviously hurting. It makes me wonder why I'm here, is this only a place to hang out? Or a place of loving, supporting Christians? But I must say, I am guilty of all these things, being too distracted, too busy, too ignorant, or too afraid to reach out to others. I want to change that though, because the last thing I want now is to perpetuate the cycle of masked bliss, where our real issues are never addressed or dealt with, and therefore the cycle continues. That is the last thing I want to see in the people who I care about so deeply.

Run

            It's strange to say, (since college is suppose to be fun! T^T) but I can't help but feel like, in a way college has stripped me of my spirit.  It's been an entire year of constantly running & pushing my limits. And I guess since my focus became soo side-tracked from God, I got tired & weary of each and every single friggin day FAST. Throughout freshman year, I focused on studying, getting good grades, doing well on projects (and in the process, pulling waaayy too many all nighters to be humanly healthy!). But I found that in the midst of it all- in trying to do great on my own- I fell into very destructive behaviors. Now that I look back on my first year, yes it was fun, exploring the city, making new friends, eating good food, and I did learn a lot, but I do wish despite my busy schedule, that I made more time for God & for the people I love (yes, my lovely EMCers:)<3). Because without God & loved ones, towards the end of the year I felt so confused  and burnt out. I questioned- what the hell is all this for? Is this what I really want? Is this worth it? Can I really make a difference with what I'm doing? Man, it sucks when you start to second guess yourself. But now I want to set my sights on God, and trust that He will lead me on the right path & give me strength to RUN for the right reasons.

1 Corinthians 9:24-25 
...In a race all the runners take part in it, but only one of them wins the prize. Run then, in such a way as to win the price. Every athlete in training submits to strict discipline; he does so in order to be crowned with a wreath that will not last ; but we do it for one that will last forever. 


Run- Addison Road
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DbT8mDgYYSw


Stop lights
break down
we cry last try
Worlds collide
time to decide
Where you wanna go in this
great big world


Stuck here
too long
in this sad song
Lost on a street
everyone has vanished
so you're all alone
But you don't know where to go
yea you're all alone
and you wanna go home


Run
just as fast as you can
Run
'til you reach the end
where the fallen 
finally land
The worlds starts, over again
run


Next page, new day,
finding my way,
stumble upon
the strength to move on
'Cause I am not alone, 
in this great big world 
And you are not alone 
in this great big world


So Run

just as fast as you can

Run

'til you reach the end

where the fallen 

finally land

The worlds starts, over again

Run now,

Don't you look back

Run towards 

the light straight ahead

Where the lost souls

make a beautiful sound

a new life is finally found

Run

You're free,

free falling

A new beginning

This is our time

Run

just as fast as you can

Run

'til you reach the end

where the fallen 

finally land

The world starts over again

Run now,

Don't you look back

Run towards 

the light straight ahead

where the lost souls

make a beautiful sound

And new life 

is finally found

Run

i would rather live alone

than live with someone and feel like i' living 

alone..

I am in desperate need for a saviour
crying out for a healer
praying for direction
longing to be close to you 
once again..